Dating the Cliché
The first rule of speed dating
is that
the early bird
catches the worm,
but when it comes to breakfast
I’ve always been more of a toast man.
I met a girl
who was born
with a silver spoon in her mouth,
I bet her mother cursed her
for every agonising second of childbirth.
She told me her relationship history,
of adultery and abuse, she said of men
that a leopard never changes its spots,
but that isn’t something
a lick of paint can’t fix,
and I told her
my opinion that
cheaters never prosper,
not unless they are becoming
a rich man’s mistress,
and a gold chain bracelet dangled loosely from her wrist.
We fell in love,
and love conquers all,
well…except house fires,
she grew distant
the moment she started working
part-time in an art cafe,
we argued, ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE
she would scream, I must have missed
the fancy dress invitation.
And then came
the Dear Craig letter:
if you love something
you have to set it free -
or just don’t tie it up in the first place.
When she left
my mother told me
how much of an arse
my partner really was,
if love is blind
why haven’t I been offered
a guide dog?
There are plenty more
fish in the sea, all my friends
keep telling me…
but I’m afraid of water.
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