Falling For a Narcoleptic
I used to think that you found me boring, you would ask me how my day was and I would be half way through a sentence - ‘Well, I saw Julia and did you know….’ and I would look at you standing there still as a child playing war pretending to be behind enemy lines with deep controlled breath like a sniper timed to mimic the softest of summer winds whilst watching, patiently, for...
I visited my psychiatrist today and in an office with no evident emotion no obvious soul beyond a Gettys image in a painfully drab frame screwed firmly into a pale green wall that matched the colour of his uninspired suit he told me that people like me infuriate him, he said that six months earlier he had been told that he only had mere months to live and that he had been clutching, snatching,...
Experience is the Name We Give to Our Mistakes
Our love is a baby we aborted, not something surveyed over a vast expanse of time but a decision made right there - in the moment. Purge get rid, chalk this one up as experience no… NO! Like the memories you have as a child forget about them they are just too agonizing, kidnap your photo albums lacerate the faces you don’t...
House Fires and Lavender
She smelt like lavender incense in the morning but by the evening - burnt hair, it was the fire. Just light a match burn his clothes you’ll feel better her best friend had said giving her a peck on the cheek before she jumped into a taxi and went to Barry’s for late afternoon cocktails. His best suit went up first disintegrated into extravagant reds that she would never again...
Watching a Hooker Fuck Herself
She lifted up her belly Resting it on her forearm and shoved her right hand in my face, ‘these fingers’ she stuck up the index and middle, ‘these fingers are thinking of you’. She licked her teeth and lips running her tongue over a minutiae of bacteria and cupcake leftovers, we made eye contact as her hands crawled down her Buddha belly and into a dark place that you just...
Growing Old With Dignity
Every time I look in the mirror I see a stranger looking back at me a face I do not recognise eyeballing me beyond the glass, ‘Who are you with your unkempt hair and that fuzz on your face, you fuckin’ hippy’ I say this to him every day and he just stares at me and never ever replies.
All the windows are closed boarded up, front doors are locked dining room chairs and tables propped up behind them, in the back yard in gaping crescent holes the charcoal remains of a rib cage and a dog collar protruding from the dry earth. ‘Happy birthday darling’, a family sits in a darkened room circled around a single isolated candle, the father motions a pen knife across to his...
Past backwards is tsap which sounds foreign for get the fuck over it already.
Taking Things Literally
‘You’re infectious’ I say, ‘What.. like a disease?’ she asks her smile shifting to an accusatory glance, ‘So I’m going to put you in a hospital, just because we kissed you’ll need chemo.’ I have to say that at this point she’s looking pretty pissed off caught up between the angry colour of a crab shell before the boil, or looking like...
Hand me those keys I don’t think it’s right you drive, She shot me a glare jumped in the drivers seat and shot off faster than I could mouth - Be Safe. It was thirty minutes later when we found her body bent hanging out of the windscreen blood clawed down her dress with a lump of a belly hanging out, and John turned to me and said ‘I think she’s with child’ and I...
The World Doesn't End With a Bang But With Us...
‘Just leave her to sleep.’ The group dispersed healing hands falling off her face and back into pockets of pointless change and lint, ‘Don’t worry, you can stay overnight’ the nurse says having noticed my features bunch together and stiffen, ‘but the others, they have to go.’ Her mother was a pneumatic drill sobbing as she kissed her forehead the tears...
Do You Believe in Fate?
‘Do you believe in fate?’ she asks a tear forming in her dewing eyes before turning callous, ‘cause I believe in growing old together and falling out of love.’ I put my hand up to her cheek and gently roll a flick of hair off her face pinning it behind her ear, she grimaces and I know she despises it but I like to see her cheek bones angled like a lone skyscraper in an...
Do You Love Me?
‘Do you love me? she whispered into the rim of his ear the sweat of sex still moist around her lips. It had started as a casual thing a couple of times per week with both of them smoking joints of weed before she would leave the stars still winking at the sleeping birds but now she held him, her arms wrapped around his chest as he heaved somewhat unnaturally into a sleep until they would...
‘It’s not the size it’s what you do with it that matters is a phrase reserved only for men with small dicks’ she says looking down at my crotch then raising her eyes to meet mine, ‘see now, I’m all for sexual equality’ she says ‘and I even agree with this beauty is in the eye of the beholder bullshit but seriously if you had the choice of going to...
It wasn’t sadness that got me this way, it was the fear of sadness that left me curled like a child awaiting the back hand of an angry life.
My Existence in the Snowglobe of Life
When I die, on the neighborhood where I lived cars will still drive incessant etch a sketch circles of pollution around the grey matter of frail elderly shuddering as they attempt to cross the road, the birds above them will still play kiss chase darting from chimney to chimney, the males dive bombing as the females pretend to be slower than they actually are, picket signs will still bob up and...
He put his face to the peep hole then recoiled, a black tired circle forming around his tormented eye, his friends gathered around him stumbled back and lying like a draped sheet over the chair, ‘What did you see Steve, some old guys dick?’ hey all snorted like children who haven’t figured out their laugh yet some doubling over holding themselves as if in pain. Steve...
‘There was an oyster given to me containing...
There Is No Reason Behind Suicide (Aokigahara)
‘stop, just stop and listen’ he pulled the palms of his hands around her side and the two lovers ceased talking about the meaningful things, the impending breakdown of their relationship and they stopped and they listened, an unexplainable wind quivered between innumerable slivers of decaying leaves, not whispering but mutttering unspeakable things ‘just end it, go on ...
Armed with a guitar, a book of poetry and stories, and with the help of a super talented friend, I recorded an ep of spoken word music. It is available for free download via bandcamp. Please download it, listen to it, share.
The Aokigahara Sequence →
I am lucky enough to be involved in a project with two poets on the forest Aokigahara, a place where people go to commit suicide. Please click on the link, read the poems, enjoy and share. Thank you
The Barfly on 59th
A man must never drink, a drinking man is an unhappy man a man down to his last chips a man who only sees his kids at weekends and his wife with other men, a man whose cats abandon him for scraps of tuna on next doors porch a man who has run out of clean clothes and reasons to clean clothes, a man who drinks is a man who only stops between gulps to check if he is still breathing, a man who only...
The Wrong Species
You’ve been barking up the wrong tree like a blind dog terrorising birds with no meat on them and annoying morning whistles, it isn’t right to howl at those too young to leave the nest poking their miniature blonde beaks through small cracks in an egg and pant as two birds of the same sex ruffle each others brightly coloured blue feathers until one of them emits a blood curdling ...
On How To Destroy a Man
My phone jangled like wind chimes on a winter night - a text, ‘Good sex!!!’ and my mind ran like a breeze clawing through all the unprotected parts of a coastal outfit, had she been with another man? It had only been days since we had laid beside each other and I was sure the crevice of her legs still smelt of my sweat but now, like a tumbler with orange squash and water combined she...
kaninchen.bandcamp.com/ ‘There may be a...
The Infinite Sad
‘There may be a time when we lose our minds’ she says ‘what will we do if I take a fall and bang my head or get Alzheimer’s, how will we remember that we were made for each other?’ He replied; ‘We’ll make a sign’ and they tried out a couple of elaborate handshakes, a knocked pattern on a wall, an out of tune birds whistle, and they wrote a letter...
A Writer; Protecting Themselves
‘If you ever write a poem about me you know, like the one about your ex with the cave for a vagina …then I will kill you’, she says this to me and she’s smiling but both of us know she isn’t joking - this is a disarmament smile like a bomber who plucks the red wire from an explosive so he can use it on another bomb in a much more public and excessively dangerous...
would you like fries with that?
Kissing is a young person’s game best left to those who still have use in their ovaries and are interested in studying Hamburgerology, see the other day I saw a man over fifty with a woman in his arms they held each other as if they were alone sucking on their necks salivating onto cheeks and pecking closed eyelids, it reminded me of walking past McDonalds and seeing the retired with their...
My Newest Collection of Poems
On Wednesday the 30th of January, my birthday, I will be releasing my latest collection of poems, ‘Falling…’ to celebrate my twenty seven years on this planet. ‘Falling…’ is a collection of pieces that explores our innate need to fall in love, and the pattern of falling for the ‘wrong’ people that many of us uptake before eventually settling. ...
When I was a boy I would decorate my snowman every year with coal for eyes a carrot for a nose and nothing but a finger poked line for a mouth, I always feared the day that my creation would talk back to me and ask, ‘Where’s my dick, don’t you have a dick?!’ so I chopped a carrot in half and placed it approximately two inches below his coal belly button, but still, as I...
Jump! The crowd swelled and pulsated like a sea monster gulping down its victims in one bite, Jump! Yeah! Jump! The mouth of the crowd gaped open wide and lashed its tongue at the man’s legs dangling above the third floor, I’ll do it! I’ll jump! The man’s teeth were chattering as he spoke his jeans turning a deep ocean blue soaked in a bladder full of piss, Go on then! Get it over...
Anonymous asked: On Becoming a Man: Did you ever learn how to love?
I found a picture in the breast pocket of my grandfathers suit jacket he was cradling my mother as if she were some kind of angel wearing a black and white jacket with a newspaper pale face she was looking at her arms hugging a bump with an apple gleaming in her eye, my grandfather with pride like milk pouring out of his posture he loved the embryo caught up inside of her even if it...
When I was a young boy I had a pencil sharpener - just one, it would hide a box of metal and one sharp tooth underneath a pillow of soft wooden sharpening bundled into thin long pencils of all sorts of shades and colours that would sometimes follow the lines but more than often abandon them. Then in my teens when the youth of reckless know-it-all often left me feeling blunt a girl offered me her...
On Becoming a Man
When I became a man hair subtly grew into my armpits like Viet Con soldiers strategically tunnelling against the Americans, my toes turned furry a snake tickled my belly button into a surprise face and my face became more fuzzy and dishevelled than a forgotten war veteran crouching outside a back alley bar, when I became a man my voice changed from a bullet whistling past an ear in a church...
Like Father Like Son
What did the therapist say to the serial killer - that the secret to happiness is being inside a warm house curled up with a corpse and a good book? A stampede of words pummel into the wall of my skull like a loveless sex headboard raping the bedroom wall somewhere between the lines the woman with the notepad and a PhD tells me ‘give daddy a break, forgive his mistakes he didn’t...
Love and Sex and Other Things
Her hair was wild animals licked with black blood not quite to the root body shaking angry fire ants inside a straight jacket stained with old piss, she had a face like vegan shit all self righteous, nutty and coarse with a psychiatric tongue that lolled restlessly its arms outstretched picking food from her gums, her skeleton sighed pillow breath into the rabbit hole and she realised looking...
A Man of His Own
I’m coughing up blood after a fight with my boss in the search for truth I’m hiding behind a set of false teeth that epitomise the falsity of my youth I’m undertaking the readings that we think are important but it’s gonna take some time The jury’s out on their use their use is the governments their use is not mine, I’m done with school with college with...
‘You missed your last appointment’ He buried his head into his coat collar like a turtle protecting himself from prey. She had grown fond of him and his anxious ways even though he was often susceptible to missing their appointments with no regard to prior warning. ‘So how has your week been?’ She watched as his fingers bent and pincered other, then as he ferociously...
She kissed me after a blowjob lips slathered with fluid both hers and mine her lipstick smeared a beautiful pattern of sound across her cheek, she kissed me and our choir mouths wrapped around that one same melody and I felt the goose bumps on my arm fuck the goose bumps draped over her escalating ribcage, she kissed me and our bodies sighed with the crescendo sweat massaging the sweet final...
The Mother With a Skirt Up To Her Crotch
Mother dressed as lamb leaves her teeth in an old pickle jar by the side of her bed mother dressed as lamb a little hairspray here a little hairspray there and the ozone layer quivers around her head, mother dressed as lamb up at the crack of dawn to put her face on amidst the cloud of foundation fog mother dressed as lamb with a to-do list of household chores but first hair of the dog, mother...
When I haven’t crapped in a long time I imagine a series of horses and deep grey carts lined up inside of my colon the horses slumped to one side with their innards visible clenched tightly in skinny ribs smiling like an old man to pretty young girls after he has downed a few beers while the yoghurt pot carts dented and discarded defecate calorie after wasted calorie, I sit there on the bog...
Everybody Loves a Hero
There was a woman on her side like an upturned trolley her cows tongue of a gastric band lolled onto the street squelching like a slug peppered in salt her shopping had rolled into a protective circle and a net of oranges writhed in pain as if mimicking her, ‘We should go help’ my friend said a fork of steak lactating around his tongue, ‘Yeah’ another friend added...
there was an eclipse on the day i was born
I have lost time it’s darker than I imagined it would be whatever that may mean, tip my head to the side and watch the days the way they just tumble away without meaning, I look to the sky wish upon a star and who is to say that is God or something bad you ate looking down on me, but I’m hiding behind my eyelids as the sound of my mother’s lullaby rings through the womb peel another...
She sat on the fence her legs dangling over each side like a horror movie depiction of intestines all torn out and … gloopy, ‘All that sitting on the fence gets you is a splintered bum’ her father told her but she would just huff and rest her body harder onto the coarse wood, ‘Is it so wrong…’ she told anyone who cared to listen ‘to consider everyone ...
I Won't Fashion My Cock into a Love Heart
‘This is wrong’ she whispered ‘this is wrong and you know it’, I had my hand so far up her skirt I wondered if she had started to eat my arm, ‘Just say you love me’ she panted ‘just say it’ but I wouldn’t and she knew that, I slowly went down on her peering over those mountainous breasts watching those blue eyes and how their moisture...
The door to your house opens, its upper hinges rotted away it snaps in half and takes a bow to you Grace showing the way to a dead corridor once emerald green and breathing with the energy of a family before the house fire, the guest book sits, black ink lines cascading like feminine tear drops in the rain, drapes tickle skirting board chin with a dialect forgotten and cold, so so cold, a toy...
Interview With a Monster
Somewhere in the outskirts of a city whose iridescent lights never dim, a man lives in an impeccable condo furnished in expensive brown leather, polished hard oak wood with chandeliers in every room. I am not that man, I am not the man who growing up I hoped that I would become. I bet growing up, like me, you told yourself that you would change the world. Not just told yourself but convinced...